


Gone, gone, gone

by panicatthetheatre



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cinnamon by JOME man, M/M, Mentions of Death, implied depression, it took me again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-03 13:08:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10967892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panicatthetheatre/pseuds/panicatthetheatre
Summary: Everyone's worried about you.





	Gone, gone, gone

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's back,  
> back again.  
> jas is back,  
> tell a friend.
> 
> with more ambiguous angst!!
> 
> well, in the beginning, anyways

It's a bit dark when you open your eyes.

You rub at them, confused, before you remember.

Right.

The love of your life, the man you call your soulmate, is dead.

The world is duller now.

It's hard, honestly. Waking up every morning, expecting to see color the way you did with him and only receiving darkness and pain.

It hurts.

 

It's been two months since he saved you, sacrificed hhimself. His funeral was over a month ago.

One month, three weeks, and four days since his body was buried in the ground six feet under. In the dark. Alone. Forever.

He doesn't deserve darkness, cold.

He deserves love, light, kindness, everything he could ever want.

Deserved.

Because he's gone.

You don't think you'll ever get used to that.

 

Everyone's worried about you.

They spent countless years with you, of course they know something is wrong. (Especially since they feel it too.)

They all saw, knew, _felt_ how you two felt about each other, and how strongly you loved each and every one of them.

You all knew you'd die for each other.

You all just hope it'd never happen.

 

Two months of isolation after the funeral later, Allura visits.

She doesn't talk, or force you to either, but she just sits with you in silence, a cup of an Altean type of tea in hand.

After a couple hours, she leaves.

She returns the next week.

It soon becomes a ritual.

You come to enjoy these visits.

 

A couple more months later, Allura is accompanied by Coran.

You know why Allura started coming (she never did have time to grieve her father, after all), but you are surprised by Coran's presence.

But by the looks of him, he's grieving too.

You suspect that he needs time away from expectations and demand too, and make him a cup of tea, the one Allura taught you have to brew a few weeks ago.

The next week, he returns again.

 

Almost exactly six months since he died. For you.

It was also the day Allura and Coran visit, too.

Their presence helps ground you, a reminder that you have people who love and support you, and will always be by your side.

You enjoy it immensely.

You enjoy it even more when the rest of you team drops by too: Hunk, with his batch of cookies; Pidge, with their phone, computer, and soothing music; and Shiro, with his awkward smiles and comforting presence.

You hug Hunk and Shiro and ruffle Pidge's hair, and they all place themselves on your couch; Pidge, however, took a chair nearby.

You make your way to your kitchen, and gently take tea duty from a shaking Allura.

You guide her to the couch, in between Shiro and Coran.

You offer her a small smile as you squeeze her hand, and return to the tea.

 

When you return to the living room, all was quiet.

You gently hand all of them their tea, even having to gently nudge it to their lips, in the cases of Allura and Hunk.

As you softly place yourself in you chair, the mood of the room somehow gets even more morose and melancholy as Hunk sniffs, wiping his eyes hurriedly.

Pidge unabashedly does the same thing, and Shiro tries and fails to cover a sob with a cough.

Surprisingly, it's Pidge who breaks the silence. "He would've loved to see us like this. Together, peacefully."

Allura nods. "He would've. He would have loved to see us in general, I'd think."

You smile morosely. "He'd be happy just seeing us happy, even if we didn't talk to him at all anymore."

The room was silent but for sniffles.

"I miss him," Hunk whispers.

"I miss when he tried to get me out of my rook by messing with my equipment," Pidge confesses ruefully.

Hunk's chuckle is wet. "Like when he "accidentally" blew up our computer in class?"

Pidge snorts weakly. "The idiot didn't even know where to put the damn wire, that's why it blew up."

"Language," Shiro chides weakly.

Allura laughs softly at that.

"I miss when he'd come down to me to talk about everything. He always seemed to talk about his family," Coran muses softly, seemingly stuck in his own memories of their boy.

Shiro cracks a smile. "I miss when he'd try to trip me. Or prank me, for that matter. Always so sure he'd get me, and always so enraged it failed." His smile quirked up at a corner. "Didn't even notice how I stepped over it every time."

Everyone lets out a laugh at that, and you relax enough to smile slightly.

"I miss..." They all turn to you, curious at what you have to say.

"I miss his smile. Not his flirty one, or his mischevious one, though that was one of my favorites. But his genuinely happy one."

You pause before adding, "The last time I saw it was Christmas. Here. At your gift, Hunk. He absolutely loved it. Couldn't get over it."

Hunk gives a shocker laugh, eyes getting wet as he covers his mouth.

He clears his throat. "I didn't realize he'd like it _that_ much. I just thought of him when I saw it."

Hunk breaks down in choked sobs, trying to catch his breath as tears stream down his face.

Pidge shyly rubs his shoulders, trying to give as much comfort as they could.

The rest of the day is filled with tears and confessions after that.

 

The following week, Allura and Coran return.

Hunk does as well.

You embrace his presence into your ritual.

You're glad someone else enjoyed this peace, this place away from demands, expectations and reputations to uphold.

 

Ten months.

Ten whole months since he died.

Every day is a bit less painful than the last, but you still miss him.

But that's okay, everyone does.

Hunk comes to you on Tuesdays, now.

He quietly talks to you about him at first, then talks about how he feels now.

You listen and offer tea while he's there, and talk when he needs a break or need someone else to listen to.

Allura us opening up, too. She talks to you softly in the kitchen over the tea, speaking of him at first, then her father.

At almost eleven months, she tentatively brings up Shiro.

You nod at places you need to, gently urging to go on at others.

Turns out she likes him.

She's scared she'll lose him like she lost her father and him.

It's still so painful for you two to say his name.

But you reassure her that her and Shiro will be fine, even though the tightness in your chest reminds you how hollow you feel.

 

Two months before a year, Allura shyly admits Shiro asked her out.

You grin at her happily, the first genuinely happy grin you've given in almost a year.

You quietly congratulate her, squeezing her hand encouragingly.

Her smile is sheepish. "I haven't told anyone else this."

Your grin gets bigger. "Then I'm happy I get to be the first."

 

Past a year.

Everyone still in mourning, but starting to see color again.

Even you see the live in everyone's eyes when they look at each other.

Allura and Shiro.

Shay and Hunk.

Pidge and their family.

It was all blossoming, again in some cases, and you were content to observe.

Though you couldn't sent the love in your heart for them either, and we're pleased to see it reciprocated.

You had almost forgotten what family felt like.

 

It has been almost fifty years since you lost the love of your life, the man you called your soulmate.

You've had a good life. You got to see Allura and Shiro's daughter grow, see Shay and Hunk adopt four beautiful little girls, see Pidge slowly get comfortable with themself.

You were incredibly humbled when you became a godfather to all their children.

You were blessed to see them all grow up, become amazing people, with the best attributes of their parents.

You were proud to see Allura and Shiro's daughter grow up and become amazing, beautiful young woman, whom eventually became a diplomat for interplanetary nations.

She's the who received Altea's memory and history, after all. She was a natural.

And you were almost regretful of letting go.

 

Coran died first. He was quite older than all of you, and you were all sad to see him pass.

Next was Allura. She was, after all, over ten thousand years old.

Shiro was next, unsurprisingly. After the death of a spouse, the other is soon to follow, unfortunately.

Hunk and Shay died together. In their home, found close together in their bed, clutching tightly, as if refusing to let the other go alone.

Then the Holts. Their father first, naturally, then Matt over his computer, and Pidge over their robots. It was painless for them, doctors said. Like falling asleep. You couldn't have stopped it.

And you.

You, the one who was hurt the most in the war, the most broken.

The last of the original paladins.

Others had taken your places kind ago. The blue paladjn was already always picking on the red, and you were saddenly pleased to see history repeat itself. Thankfully, it's been without heartbreak thus far.

But you know it's your time to go.

The doctors know. The nurse that's been tending to you the past few months knows; her eyes show too much, like his.

So you close yours...

...and sleep.

 

_Keith!_

You open your eyes, wincing as you're nearly blinded by the intensity of the colors.

A boy bounds over to you, and his grin makes you want to kiss him till he's giggling so harhesitate can't breathe. _C'mon, silly. You can nap later! Now, come on! Let's swim!_

As he drags you over to the lagoon, you're greeted with cheers from family, the family Voltroj gave yhave the family Red gave you.

Just before you join them, you pull Lance back to you, kissing him fiercely and with all the love in your heart.

He tilts his head at you when you pull apart, happy but a bit bemused. _What was that for, you dork?_

You relax, grinning at him happily.

_I missed you, is all._

He grins back at you.

_I missed you too._

**Author's Note:**

> just an fyi this was written the day after the first one I posted lmao
> 
> I was supposed to be studying for my chemistry semester final (which I got a 67 on lmao RIP) but JOME's Cinnamon, man... It Calls Me
> 
> hope you enjoyed this kinda plotless angst. I was bored and felt like procrastinating :-)
> 
> adios amigos
> 
> (ALSO LMAO in the end where is says "now, come on!" it originally said "cone" and I'm so glad I previewed it before posting. this is what I get for typing in my phone tho)
> 
> (okay now proper adios)


End file.
